


You Think Too Much

by jennerallyspeaking



Series: Mind over Matter [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established but unmentioned feelings, First Kiss, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 12:23:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14934212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennerallyspeaking/pseuds/jennerallyspeaking
Summary: Bruce has never been one to manage his  emotions very well, but the Snap has driven him to nearly complete isolation.And he doesn’t know how to handle Thor.





	You Think Too Much

**Author's Note:**

> This is the most angsty shit I’ve ever written and I love these boys so much

Struggling to comprehend the magnitude of it all drives Bruce deeper into his own skull. Tremoring hands on Shuri’s equipment. Waves of nausea strong enough to push him into bed for hours. Disgust that he was spared when so many others far more worthy of life were lost. And, the horror over the illogicity of the snap, because where could one being even begin drawing the halfway line to divide all life?  
  
He is quick to neglect self-care. The bruises on his arms come easy and ugly as a result of malnutrition, taunting him with mottles of green along his arms and shins; the rings under his eyes are greenish, too. Bruce hates the glances he catches of himself in the mirrors in the palace, grimacing at the layer of salt-and-pepper stubble that’s quickly becoming something more, wondering if the stoop in his shoulders is a new development or an old trait. It would be all too easy to lose control and leave this place, he realizes. The other guy would have no issue in taking permanent residence in the captain’s seat; there would be little regard for the devolving cosmos around him.  
  
For the first time, Bruce is tempted to let go for good.  
  
He practically lives in the lab and sees little of anyone else except for Tony and Shuri. Natasha and the raccoon had visited a few times, and Thor, too, bearing gifts of tea and international science articles for Bruce to study, but he was quick to send them away. “I need space to think.” That was always a clear dismissal.  
  
Bruce manages five and a half days work without sleeping before his body gives out, slumping hard over one of the lab tables. What awaits him when his vision goes dark is precisely what he had feared: muddled memories of his rampages as the ‘other guy’, the screams of the defeated in the Grandmaster’s ring, shades of a future where the universe fails to avenge what was lost. It’s traumatizing and inescapable, and Bruce wants more than anything to wake--  
  
“Hey, hey. Sun’s getting real low. Banner?”  
  
Bruce’s eyes snap open and a rush of old feeling surges through him as his gaze clears. _Thor_ , who once again has found him at his most pathetic point but is looking at him with nothing short of affection.  
  
“Oh, Jesus,” Bruce starts, increasingly aware of his racing heart and Thor’s hand resting tight on his shoulder. “What happened? Did I Hulk out or something? Is everyone okay?”  
  
“No, no. You’re fine. I found you asleep, but you were muttering things. Twitching. You didn’t.. seem happy.”  
  
Bruce feels a warm flush cover his cheeks. “Oh. I’m okay, thanks. What time is it?”  
  
“Half past three.”  
  
Bruce groans. “In the _morning_?”  
  
Thor laughs, a welcome sound. “Afraid so.”  
  
“Well, hey, what are you doing up?”  
  
The atmosphere darkens immediately as Thor’s smile falters. “Couldn’t sleep.”  
  
“Yeah, I think we’ve all been having trouble there.” Bruce stares helplessly at the disarray of papers in front of him and tries to recall what he had been doing before he blacked out. Nothing comes to mind, and really, all he can focus on right now is the continuing touch on his shoulder. He doesn’t dare meet Thor’s gaze.  
  
“Banner, you should try to get some rest.”  
  
Bruce chuckles weakly. “I was just asleep, Thor-“  
  
“ _Real_ rest. In a bed.”  
  
Suddenly and without provocation, a thick lump arises in Bruce’s throat. He feels his eyes sting with exhaustion and emotion, and quickly ducks his head into his shoulder. His feeble attempt to hide the reaction isn’t lost on Thor.  
  
“Bruce,” he whispers, and fuck, it’s the first time he’s dropped the distance of calling Bruce by his last name, and the scientist feels a wrench in his gut as Thor says it again. And then _fuck_ , Thor’s sitting down next to Bruce at the lab table and resting one hand on his thigh and looping the other arm around his back, and Bruce is starting to shake, but the other man just keeps holding him.  
  
Thor only releases Bruce when he begins to breathe a little easier, but one hand stays resting on his thigh.  
  
“I’m sorry, Banner,” Thor starts and Bruce mourns the loss of the previous moment’s familiarity. “I can’t even begin to understand what’s going through your brain right now. I feel like I’m not helping.”  
  
“No, you’re fine. Better than fine, actually, you’re doing a wonderful job.”  
  
“It’s not good for you to keep bottling everything up. Talk to me.”  
  
And then the dam inside Bruce splinters and the words come rushing out of him faster than his brain can keep up with. Thor soaks in every bit of emotion, and when Bruce mentions the increasing temptation to surrender control to the Hulk, a small rumble forms at the back of his throat, but the larger man doesn’t say a word until Bruce finishes.  
  
“I just don’t know how we’re supposed to fix this. And when do the consequences begin? This is _mass extinction_ on a scale scientists had never even _imagined_ , and we were faced with it in a matter of seconds. Even Tony doesn’t know where to start. What the _hell_ are we supposed to do now?”  
  
Thor exhales slowly. “The weight of the cosmos shouldn’t be resting on your shoulders alone.”  
  
“It isn’t! And I know it isn’t, but come on. Those of us that are left are expected to be _Earth’s Mightiest Heroes_ , Thor, and I feel anything but. I-I don’t even feel adequate.”  
  
The pair sit in silence for a while until Thor cuts through the haze by resting a hand on the back of Bruce’s. Bruce suddenly has to remind himself how to breathe.  
  
“Banner,” Thor starts cautiously, and the hesitation in his voice sends a chill across Bruce’s entire body. “If you don’t mind me prying,”  
  
“Of- of course not.”  
  
“I can sense there’s something else on your mind. Something more tangible than the, you know, crumbling state of existence.”  
  
Bruce laughs nervously, trying desperately to look at anything but the man in front of him.  
  
“What’s got you so afraid?”  
  
A crushing roar fills Bruce’s ears as he struggles to speak.  
  
“You.”  
  
Thor instantly recoils, electric eyes dulled by shame and hurt; and Bruce curses himself for not phrasing things more eloquently. He reaches pleadingly for Thor’s arm but it’s too late— the other man has already risen from the table and is heading for the door.  
  
“Thor, come o-, wait, listen, you know I didn’t mean it like that-“  
  
Thor pauses in the doorway, looking smaller than Bruce has ever seen him. “It’s alright, Banner. I suppose you do need some time for yourself.”  
  
Bruce starts crying before the door even begins to close.  
  
*********************  
  
It’s 5:00 now, and trying to sleep again is absolutely a lost cause, so Bruce rises gingerly and makes his way through the complex. In the month or so he’s been in Wakanda he hasn’t bothered exploring the palace, and it’s nice to be greeted by surroundings that don’t look as frazzled as the lab. He winds his way through hallways and kitchens (so many kitchens!) before reaching the residential area where the other Avengers had been staying. Someone is up; soft light spills through a partially opened door at the end of the hall. Bruce, suddenly hungry for company, hesitates and then raps softly on the doorframe.  
  
“Come in.”  
  
_Dammit_. It’s Thor, and Bruce would like very much to turn and run. The voice calls out again, this time with a “Yes?”, and Bruce reluctantly steps inside.  
  
“Oh. Banner.” Thor’s standing at the foot of his bed, wearing nothing but a pair of too-short sweatpants, and Bruce’s eyes can’t help flitting over the god’s scarred chest.  
  
Bruce manages a weak “Hey.”  
  
“Do you need something?”  
  
Hesitation, and then: “What I said earlier. I--I didn’t mean it like I was afraid of you hurting me or something; God, no, I know you would never do anything like that, I’m just--everything is so _fucked_ right now and I don’t want to be the guy to fuck everything up even worse, and I’m, I, uh--”  
  
“Breathe, Banner.”  
  
“Huh. Yeah, sorry. I’m sounding a little crazy.” Bruce tilts his head all the way back and sighs. “ I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to lose my temper when I already feel like I’m losing my _mind_ , and then you walked in on me like that tonight, and you were all touchy and kind, and I don’t know what’s going on.”  
  
“You don’t know what’s going on with me?” Thor asks.  
  
“With us. I mean, come on, man, something _weird_ happened on Sakaar, or at least something happened to me. I don’t know what you want. I don’t want to get hurt,” Bruce raises his arms in a _hear me out_ gesture when Thor begins to frown, “and I certainly don’t want to hurt you.”  
  
“Banner, we’re friends. You shouldn’t be worried about that kind of thing.”  
  
“Jesus. _Jesus_ , you are really missing the point right now.”  
  
Thor takes a step towards Bruce and it takes all of the smaller man’s willpower not to rush into him.  
  
“Why me, though? I’m no different than Tony, or Captain Rogers, or any of them.”  
  
_You know why ,_ Bruce wants to scream. _You’ve known since day ONE on Sakaar; I’m sure you sense every change in my heartbeat, every change in my temperature when I’m around you_.  
  
“You are, though. Thor, not a single one of my PhDs give me the intellect to explain how vastly different you are from the rest of them. How vastly different you make me feel. And I’m not—I’m not anything compared to you. That’s why I’m afraid.”  
  
Thor is painfully close to Bruce now, although neither man remembers moving.  
  
“Don’t be a fool, Banner.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You think far too little of yourself and far too much of me. You need to slow down for just a second.”  
  
Bruce is having a really hard time getting his lips to form any words. “I-I don— I don’t understand what you’re sayi-“  
  
He’s cut off by Thor reaching quickly for his face, pressing one palm firmly to Bruce’s unshaven cheek. “You think too much, Bruce.”  
  
And then Thor is kissing him and Bruce is completely frozen in his arms, too terrified to pull away and even more afraid to dare return the affection . Bruce feels every ounce of his blood rush to his face when Thor withdraws in confusion. _Fuck._  
  
“Banner, did I misinterpret your phrasing, because if so..” Thor trails off, horrified.  
  
_You think too much._  
  
“Not in the slightest,” Bruce whispers, and then he’s pulling Thor toward him so their bodies collide in the kiss, and he’s feeling more whole than he has in the longest time, fingertips tracing the lines of the god’s back—the _god_ , he’s kissing a god!—, lips curving into a smile as he senses live electricity in Thor’s steady touch.  
  
It’s all over far sooner than Bruce would like, and the familiar hollowness of the days before re-emerges the moment he separates from Thor. But he’s saved, because—  
  
“ Stay here,” Thor blurts, gesturing nervously to the bed. “You need sleep. I need sleep. I think we’d both rest easier if we stayed together. It’ll be like Sakaar!”  
  
*********************  
  
Bruce, who sleeps for a solid day, wakes only once. When he does, there’s no panic, because Thor’s arm is draped lazily across his chest and the god is snoring softly, face slack with calm.  
  
And he forgets to think.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry that it was a little choppyyyyy but there y’all go!!!! Please leave kudos & comments; they warm my heart.
> 
>  
> 
> ps I tried really hard to incorporate that stuttery, haphazard way of talking that we saw Bruce have in Ragnarok, but I don’t know if it just came across as bad writing


End file.
